TRENTON, NJ — In a stunning revelation today, Senator Bob Menendez addressed allegations regarding his extensive collection of novelty soaps, assuring investigators that the majority of the soaps are, in fact, made of faux gold.
The senator’s quirky hobby came to light when a whistleblower within his office leaked classified information about his soap stash, raising concerns about the ethical implications of such a collection in a time when austerity measures are being debated in Congress. The collection includes soap bars shaped like famous landmarks, political figures, and even animals, all purportedly covered in a shiny, golden veneer.
At a press conference held earlier today, Senator Menendez addressed the controversy head-on. “I want to make it clear that I am committed to transparency and upholding the highest ethical standards,” he began, clutching a soap shaped like the Washington Monument. “These soaps, although dazzling in appearance, are made mostly of faux gold. I assure you, they hold no real monetary value.”
CC: Senate Democrats
