WASHINGTON, D.C. — In an unprecedented display of multitasking, President Joe Biden’s cardboard cutout has stepped up to the plate, holding down the fort as the commander-in-chief takes a nap.
The life-sized cardboard cutout of President Biden was strategically placed in front of the Resolute Desk. It handled all incoming phone calls, signed a stack of executive orders, and even nodded knowingly during national security briefings. White House aides, who were well-prepared for this moment, had a prerecorded audio loop of the President’s favorite catchphrases, including “C’mon, man!” and “Folks, let me be clear.”
“The cardboard cutout is a real team player, and it’s keeping things on track.” Observant members of the press corps couldn’t help but notice that the President’s hair remained remarkably unchanged throughout the day.
It remains to be seen if the President’s cardboard stand-in will become a regular fixture in the White House, but it’s clear that when it comes to juggling the duties of the highest office in the land, the President has a trick or two up his sleeve.