SAN FRANCISCO, CA — In a shocking turn of events, sources reveal that President Biden is allegedly too wrapped up in his newfound celebrity status to spare a moment’s thought for California’s economy, calling him “Hollywood.”
In an exclusive interview with a source close to the president (who may or may not be a distant relative of Joe Biden’s neighbor’s cousin), it was disclosed that the president has been spending an inordinate amount of time perfecting his TikTok dances and rehearsing acceptance speeches for awards he has yet to win.
One anonymous insider claimed, “We tried to bring up the state of California’s economy during a recent meeting, but he was too busy adjusting the lighting for his next viral Instagram post. Priorities, you know?”
The White House, in response to these allegations, issued a statement that read, “The president takes the economy very seriously, and any rumors of him being more interested in red carpet events than balancing the budget are simply preposterous. He multitasks admirably, often brainstorming economic strategies while signing autographs for his adoring fans.”
Meanwhile, the citizens of California, blissfully unaware of their leader’s celebrity pursuits, have reportedly started a petition to get President Biden a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. “If he’s going to be a celebrity president, he might as well have a star like the rest of them,” said one enthusiastic supporter.
As the nation grapples with economic challenges, it seems President Biden is determined to prove that you can, indeed, fiddle while Rome burns — or, in his case, dance on TikTok while California’s economy faces uncertainty.
In the end, it’s clear that California Biden’s star power is shining brightly, even if the state’s economic forecast is looking a bit dim.
