California Finds New Use for Waste, ‘We’re Going to Drink It and Bathe in It’

Gavin Newsom holding glass of "water"

SAN FRANCISCO, CA — In a groundbreaking move aimed at addressing the state’s persistent water scarcity issues, California officials have unveiled an innovative solution: repurposing waste into a new, multi-functional resource. In a press conference held on the shores of a slightly murky yet optimistically named “Eco-Lagoon.”

“We’re taking recycling to the next level,” the Gavin Newsom declared.” The governor went on to reveal that the state would not only be drinking the reclaimed water but also encouraging residents to embrace a new, water-conserving lifestyle by bathing in it.

“We’re turning ‘waste not, want not’ into ‘waste in, want some,” seemingly unperturbed by the skeptical expressions of the gathered reporters.

As California pioneers this bold endeavor, the nation watches with bated breath, wondering if the Golden State has discovered the ultimate elixir for a sustainable future or if they’ve just taken the phrase “bottoms up” to a whole new level.