WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a less than surprising turn of events, chief safety officer Oscar Lockheed made the suggestion, “Hey, maybe we shouldn’t leave our nation’s leaders so vulnerable to mobs by locking the doors. You never know who might show up next.”
After two demonstrations that overtook the U.S. Capitol and led to arrests, Lockheed said this is an inevitable step toward civility that seems quite obvious, “It just seems like it’s time to stop them at the door. Let’s be honest, it’s not like anything these demonstrators do or say has any bearing on anything we’ve done up until now, so let’s just cut our losses here. You can peacefully protest, but just stay out of the places where it’s illegal.”
The suggestion follows the President’s recent trip to a war zone and lawmakers’ failure to elect another Speaker of the House.
