DENVER, CO — In a surprising turn of events at the office today, marketing associate Randall Levitt left his coworkers baffled when he reached into his bag and pulled out a vintage TI-83 graphing calculator for what he insisted were “some quick calculations.”
Eyewitnesses reported a collective gasp as Levitt confidently navigated through the graphing calculator’s archaic interface, unfazed by the stares of colleagues whose most advanced mathematical tool is the calculator app on their smartphones.
“I just needed to figure out the percentage increase in our quarterly sales, and there’s no better way to do it than with the TI-83,” Levitt explained, as if graphing calculators were still the pinnacle of technological advancement. “You can’t beat the classics, am I right?”
While the rest of the office huddled around Levitt, watching in disbelief, he continued to press buttons with the precision of a concert pianist. Colleagues exchanged puzzled glances as he mumbled about the importance of programming the correct formulas and the nostalgic thrill of reliving his high school math glory days.
“It’s like riding a bike,” Levitt declared, seemingly unaware of the ironic chuckles echoing through the office. “Once you’ve mastered the quadratic formula, you never really forget. I even put a game on this thing for lunchtime.”
“I didn’t even know those calculators still existed,” remarked Jenny Stark, a colleague who, like most people, assumed graphing calculators had gone the way of the floppy disk. “I thought they were all in a museum somewhere next to rotary phones and typewriters.”
As Levitt proudly showcased his impressive array of graphing capabilities, complete with animated sine waves and bar charts that rivaled Microsoft Excel, coworkers debated whether his choice of tool was a quirky homage to a bygone era or a subtle flex to remind everyone that he aced calculus in high school.