DES MOINES, IA — In an unprecedented legal decision, a local judge has ordered a double negative to clear a literal hate symbol of all accusations of evil doing. The ruling has left legal scholars wondering if the English language itself is now subject to courtroom interpretation.
“Satan was clearly taken from my religion in which it is the only embodiment of evil, or shall we say hatred, that exists in the world. Curious, since any reasonable person who follows my religion would be offended by it and this is not taken into account.”
The case revolved around the erection of Satan in Iowa’s capital that has alarmed the local community. Residents had voiced concerns about the offensive nature of the symbol, prompting a legal battle that would ultimately hinge on double negatives.
The judge, known for mental gymnastics, issued a verdict that declared the hate symbol free of any malevolent intent. “In the spirit of linguistic fairness, we must acknowledge the power of double negatives to create a positive outcome.”