Financial Advisor Secretly Invests Billions in ‘Bunch of Bullshit’ to Test Customer Reactions
NEW YORK, NY—In a bold experiment to gauge client reactions to investment strategies, local financial advisor Randall Brookes has reportedly…
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LA Fire Department Blames Devastation on Word ‘Husband’
“It’s such a dangerous word, we’ve tried removing it completely from the department.”
Violent Shitstorm Engulfs Small Town, Ravages All Hope for Clean Water
BARNS CREEK, WY — Residents of this small, once-picturesque town were left reeling this week after a violent shitstorm tore…
Judge Orders Double Negative Clears ‘Literal Hate Symbol’ of All Accusations of Evil Doing
DES MOINES, IA — In an unprecedented legal decision, a local judge has ordered a double negative to clear a…
Analogies About Lifeboats Making Comeback in 2024
In an unexpected linguistic turn of events, analogies about lifeboats are making a comeback in 2024, leaving language enthusiasts and…
Mom Still Remembers Time When You Wanted to Be a Ninja Turtle
PITTSBURGH, PA — In a heartwarming revelation that has left family members both amused and nostalgic, sources confirm that your…
Man Thinks Mars Could Spice Up His Marriage After Binging Sci-Fi Movies
TITUSVILLE, FL — In the mundane landscape of suburban life, one man is on a mission to inject some interplanetary…