LITTLETOWN, MN — In an attempt to secure his position as the undisputed “World’s Best Dad,” suburban father-of-two, Dave Shields, has unveiled ambitious plans for a lavish underground bunker that he believes will win the hearts and minds of his family.
“Listen, my kids and wife are great, but I’ve always felt there was something missing in our family dynamic,” Dave explained, his eyes gleaming with enthusiasm as he presented blueprints of the bunker during a neighborhood barbecue. “That’s why I’ve decided to go all out and build the Shields Family Safe House.”
Dave’s “Safe House” proposal includes a state-of-the-art entertainment center, complete with a 150-inch 8K TV, a collection of vintage arcade machines, and a mini-golf course. The bunker will also feature a fully stocked candy bar, an ice cream parlor, and a soda fountain.
