
Local



Woman Reaches Seventh Circle of ‘Login Infinite Loop’ Hell
SACRAMENTO, CA — In a groundbreaking case of digital determination, local woman Jessica Lopez has reportedly entered the seventh circle…

Bard Sets Up Shop In Local Tavern, Confusing Regulars, Serenading With Top 10 Lists
DUNSHIRE TAVERN — The quaint and cozy Dunshire Tavern, known for its lively atmosphere and frothy pints, found itself facing…

Local Man Achieves Peak Conformity, Promptly Disappears Into Background
PLACETOWN, CT — In a mildly interesting turn of events, local resident Chris Jones has achieved the pinnacle of conformity,…

Grandma Is Getting Pretty Serious With Internet Cronies After Years of Searching
FOUNTAIN, PA — After years of searching, Grandma Mildred Barth has found an unexpected fountain of companionship in the form…

Man Might Be Wearing Underpants on Outside, But He Trying to Save World
AUSTIN, TX — In a recent reveal, Leroy Olson told reporters he often wears his underwear on the outside of…

Illegal Stalking, Lack of Context Top Ways to Investigate Defamation
NEW YORK, NY — For more than one hundred years, investigations of defamation have been conducted, and here are just…

Local Men Have Flashbacks of Matriarchal Origins, Form Weekly Support Group
BOSTON, MA — A local man Eric Rusty experienced a sudden flashback revealing the matriarchal origins of society. Sources report…

Man Announces ‘Nothing I Ever Say Is Funny’ As Crowd Laughs
TAMPA, FL — Sources report a local man Vijay Kumar was being laughed at without even telling a joke by…