WASHINGTON, D.C. — In an unprecedented move, President Joe Biden has once again advanced the symbolic Doomsday Clock by a full day, igniting both confusion and curiosity across the nation. The decision, announced during a late-night press conference at the White House, has left many Americans scratching their heads and others wondering if the President is just having a bit of fun with a global existential crisis.
“We’ve made some progress in the last year,” President Biden declared, standing before a backdrop of concerned-looking scientists. “But we still have a long way to go before we can rest easy. So, I’ve decided to give us a little less time to change things.”
Dr. Emily Simmons, a climate scientist who advises the Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists, struggled to explain the decision. “While we understand President Biden’s desire to emphasize the urgency of addressing global challenges, it’s not entirely clear what advancing the Doomsday Clock by another day achieves,” she said, adjusting her glasses nervously. “Typically, we update the clock in increments of minutes, not full days.”
Some have speculated that Biden’s move was an elaborate countdown to his retirement, while others pondered if he had a secret plan to solve climate change in precisely 24 hours.
