COSMOS, MI — In a twist that can only be described as bizarre, a mysterious and reclusive man has taken up residence in what is now officially the largest pumpkin ever recorded, leaving locals both fascinated and perplexed.
“I know they’ll never get their hands on my pumpkin house! That’s why I got it. The rest is a secret.”
“We thought it was just a really big pumpkin,” said Susan McAllister, a local resident who lives nearby. “But then we saw the chimney poking out the top and realized, ‘There’s a guy in there!'”
Christopher, the pumpkin’s enigmatic tenant, has gone to great lengths to conceal his identity. He communicates with visitors through a series of notes that are passed through a small window cut into the pumpkin’s side. His messages are often cryptic, filled with riddles and puzzles that leave curious onlookers scratching their heads.
“Why live in a pumpkin? Because pumpkins are the keys to the universe,” one of Christopher’s notes proclaimed. “The great pumpkin knows secrets you can’t even imagine.”
