Tesla Wants Forever War With ‘The People’
AUSTIN, TX—In a surprise announcement, Tesla confirmed Monday that it is engaged in an ongoing, indefinite war against The People,…
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Artificial Intelligence Company Deeply Seeks Enough Attention to Crash US Economy
“Your data is very important to us.” DeepSeek’s representative said in his opening statement. “We’re anticipating a widespread adoption in…
Zuckerberg Remembers First Time Browsing Internet Unsupervised
WASHINGTON, D.C.—In a rare glimpse of personal nostalgia, Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg reminisced Monday about the first time he browsed…
DOJ Officials Return Google’s Car With Interior Torn Out
“Look, we might have totaled it, and it’s not safe for anyone to drive. But, at least that’ll teach ya’.”
Zuckerberg Identifies as Libertarian After Meeting Lilliputians in Metaverse
PALO ALTO, CA — In an unexpected twist, Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg announced Tuesday that he now identifies as a…
Sam Altman Seeks $7 Trillion to Launch Civilization to 12th Dimension
SAN FRANCISCO, CA — In a move that has widespread cosmic implications, Sam Altman announced his ambitious plans for $7…
The New York Times Figures Out How Google Works
NEW YORK, NY — In a groundbreaking investigative report published yesterday, The New York Times proudly declared that they have…
Sam Altman Fulfills Lifelong Dream of Becoming a Copilot
REDMOND, WA — In a shocking turn of events, ChatGPT’s Sam Altman has decided to veer away from the world…