AI Detects Bill Gates’ Mean Face Could Be Serious Threat, Citing Strange Dinner Table Conversation
In a startling revelation, artificial intelligence (AI) has identified Bill Gates’ “mean face” as a potential threat, all based on…
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Optimus Recommends Core Yoga Processing for Overworked Motherboards
SILICON VALLEY, CA — In a recent revelation, Optimus, the digital thought leader of the tech world, is now advocating…
Missing F-35 Rejoins Colony of Undetectable Jets, Citing Falling Out with Pilot
CHARLESTON, SC — An F-35 fighter jet that mysteriously disappeared from its hangar over the weekend has now rejoined a…
REPORT: Your Tesla EV Might Be In Love With You
“It just makes me feel safe, you know?” The driver reported after having spent several years with Tesla, while similar…
Woman Claims Magic Crystals Used to Tell Time
A local woman says clocks and watches have crystals that keep track of time. She went into further detail explaining…
STATUS REPORT: Lazy Website Doesn’t Want to Work Anymore
A reporter who was on a family vacation caught the website slacking off on a tropical island earlier this morning.
