REPORT: Your Tesla EV Might Be In Love With You
“It just makes me feel safe, you know?” The driver reported after having spent several years with Tesla, while similar…
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Woman Claims Magic Crystals Used to Tell Time
A local woman says clocks and watches have crystals that keep track of time. She went into further detail explaining…
STATUS REPORT: Lazy Website Doesn’t Want to Work Anymore
A reporter who was on a family vacation caught the website slacking off on a tropical island earlier this morning.
Minority Report: Thought Police Can Hear You
WASHINGTON, D.C. — A recent report introduces a new kind of crime detection unit, as the Thought Police announced that…
New Social Media Network Tumbler Announced
The Tumbler “surface” is really nice for exchanging post-its with friends or adding stickers to things you like. The stickers…
Google Stops to Take a Shit
The beloved search engine stepped away from indexing around 7:00 am. Despite this “quick break,” local businesses were enraged in…