Missing F-35 Rejoins Colony of Undetectable Jets, Citing Falling Out with Pilot
CHARLESTON, SC — An F-35 fighter jet that mysteriously disappeared from its hangar over the weekend has now rejoined a…
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REPORT: Your Tesla EV Might Be In Love With You
“It just makes me feel safe, you know?” The driver reported after having spent several years with Tesla, while similar…
Woman Claims Magic Crystals Used to Tell Time
A local woman says clocks and watches have crystals that keep track of time. She went into further detail explaining…
STATUS REPORT: Lazy Website Doesn’t Want to Work Anymore
A reporter who was on a family vacation caught the website slacking off on a tropical island earlier this morning.
Minority Report: Thought Police Can Hear You
WASHINGTON, D.C. — A recent report introduces a new kind of crime detection unit, as the Thought Police announced that…
New Social Media Network Tumbler Announced
The Tumbler “surface” is really nice for exchanging post-its with friends or adding stickers to things you like. The stickers…
Google Stops to Take a Shit
The beloved search engine stepped away from indexing around 7:00 am. Despite this “quick break,” local businesses were enraged in…