Man So Desirable He Can Be in Five Cities in One Day
DALLAS, TX—Defying the limits of space, time, and basic human need for rest, 42-year-old commercial airline pilot Greg Hanlon has…
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Jeff Bezos Sends Every Woman He Knows to Space
In what is being heralded by some as a “giant leap for womankind,” Amazon founder Jeff Bezos officially launched every…
‘Gold Card’ Visa Allows New US Citizens to Pay $3M for Chocolate Factory Tour
WASHINGTON, D.C.—In an effort to streamline the immigration process while bolstering the nation’s economy, U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS)…
California Falls Into Ocean
“We never thought there would be a problem until everyone started leaning to the left. Then, all of a sudden,…
Southwest Airlines Pushes New ‘Cancel Your Plans’ Holiday Promotion
In a groundbreaking move that promises to redefine the travel industry, Southwest Airlines has proudly announced its latest holiday promotion:…
Time Traveler Warns Daylight Savings Disrupts Flow of Spacetime
PHILIDELPHIA, PA — In a stunning revelation, a time traveler from the distant future has emerged to warn humanity about…
Mars Travel Agency Claims Red Planet ‘The Place’ to Escape Your In-Laws Forever
EARTH — In a stunning revelation, Mars Travel Agency, the pioneering space travel company, has declared Mars as the ultimate…
Third Wheel Airbnb Guest Extends Reservation in Couple’s Spare Bedroom
SCOTTISH HIGHLANDS — In a surprising turn of events, an Airbnb guest who originally booked a spare room in a…
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