ORANGEVILLE, ME — In a candy catastrophe that can only be described as a “sweet-toothed tragedy,” local woman Janet Lindor, 34, inadvertently consumed the entire stash of Halloween candy meant for neighborhood trick-or-treaters well before the night arrives. What was meant to be a well-intentioned preview of the holiday treats turned into a full-blown Halloween crisis.
Janet’s husband, Martin Lindor, stumbled upon the shocking discovery when he decided to sneak a piece of the candy he believed was securely hidden in the pantry. Instead, he found nothing but empty wrappers and a wife who was clearly in the throes of candy-induced guilt.
“When I confronted her, she had chocolate smears on her face and a look of sugary remorse that I’ve never seen before,” Martin lamented. “I couldn’t believe she’d managed to eat it all.”
Janet, now dubbed “The Candy Bandit” by her family, admitted to the accidental binge. She confessed, “I just wanted to test a few pieces, you know, to make sure they were okay for the kids.”
“We were planning to be the best house on the block. Now, I’ll be lucky if we can afford generic lollipops,” Martin sighed, eyeing his wife, who had begun hiding all the sugary remnants under the couch cushions.