APPLETON, WI — In an unexpected turn of events that could only be described as an unplanned experiment, local woman Sandra Matheson has become the unexpected variable in a groundbreaking research study after crashing through the doors of a high-tech laboratory.
The incident occurred on Tuesday morning when Matheson, a yoga instructor with no scientific background, accidentally drove through the cutting-edge research facility known for its work in quantum physics, nanotechnology, and oddly specific studies on the behavior of cats.
“We were investigating the properties of subatomic particles, and suddenly, Matheson enters the equation,” Dr. Quan explained. “It’s not every day that someone randomly becomes an integral part of a scientific study, but science is all about adapting to the unexpected.”
As scientists scrambled to incorporate Matheson into ongoing experiments, the incident has sparked a flurry of interest in the scientific community. Some researchers have proposed creating a new field of study, tentatively named “Spontaneous Human Variables,” while others debate the implications of incorporating unsuspecting civilians into controlled experiments.