Sen. Rand Paul to Kickoff ‘Airing of Grievances’ With Festivus Report
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a surprising departure from traditional year-end reports, Senator Rand Paul has announced his intention to kick…
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Battleship Boardgame Found at Oval Office Desk
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In an astonishing turn of events that has left the nation perplexed, sources confirmed today that a…
Biden Unveils Bold New Cybersecurity Plan: ‘Just Tell the Hackers to Stop, Please’
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a stunning revelation that sent shockwaves through the cybersecurity community, President Joe Biden announced a groundbreaking…
Al Gore Claims Freedom of Speech Not Purpose of His Famous Invention The Internet
In a shocking turn of events, former Vice President Al Gore made a startling announcement, insisting that the freedom of…
Ireland Bans Swiftian Language, Citing A Modest Proposal’s Clear Lack of Humor
In a surprising turn of events, Ireland made the decision to ban Swiftian language citing how unfunny A Modest Proposal…
Biden Makes Demonstration Liberty Just a Big Turkey He Could Eat for Dinner
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a surprising move today, President Joe Biden took a break from addressing the nation’s most pressing…
Sen. Joe Manchin Goes on Tour to Bring Pepperoni Rolls to the People
CHARLESTON, WV — In a surprising turn of events, Senator Joe Manchin has embarked on a cross-state tour, not to…
American Politicians Find Out President Xi Jinping Focuses on What Roughly Translates to ‘Technology’
SAN FRANCISCO, CA — American politicians have reportedly learned that Chinese President Xi Jinping has been investing time and resources…
California Biden Too Busy Being Famous to Care About State of Economy
SAN FRANCISCO, CA — In a shocking turn of events, sources reveal that President Biden is allegedly too wrapped up…