Gov. Newsom’s Aide Several Weeks Into Relaying Joke Headlines in Place of Real News
SACRAMENTO, CA— After weeks of confusion, sources close to California Governor Gavin Newsom revealed Monday that his top aide, Marcus…
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Biden Pardons Self for Eating Last Powdered Donut
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a stunning yet quintessentially American display of executive authority, President Joe Biden today issued an official…
Daimyo Gavin Newsom Sends Elite Army of Samurai Actors Into Battle
“This LARP battle will completely eclipse any sort of political discourse on my watch. I want no thoughts, no logic,…
Senate Votes Abstinence Only Way to Avoid Birth of Demonic Children
Washington, D.C. — In a landmark decision, the U.S. Senate voted 51-49 on Thursday to pass a bill declaring abstinence…
Thomas F. Wilson Nominated by Republican Party to Replace Donald J. Trump
In response to the nomination, Republican Presidential Candidate Tom Wilson told the press on Tuesday, “You know, one thing’s for…
Biden Still Talking About Time He Drove Rumpelstiltskin Out of Town
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a surprising turn of events, President Joe Biden has once again regaled White House staff with…
Kamala Harris Orders Helicopters to Parent Nation
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a bold move that has left political analysts on edge, Vice President Kamala Harris has reportedly…
Biden Requests for Anyone in Audience to Let Him Know How That Preamble Goes Again
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a moment that left many in the audience scratching their heads, President Biden called out to…