Politics
Gov. Newsom’s Aide Several Weeks Into Relaying Joke Headlines in Place of Real News
SACRAMENTO, CA— After weeks of confusion, sources close to California Governor Gavin Newsom revealed Monday that his top aide, Marcus…
Biden Pardons Self for Eating Last Powdered Donut
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a stunning yet quintessentially American display of executive authority, President Joe Biden today issued an official…
Daimyo Gavin Newsom Sends Elite Army of Samurai Actors Into Battle
“This LARP battle will completely eclipse any sort of political discourse on my watch. I want no thoughts, no logic,…
Senate Votes Abstinence Only Way to Avoid Birth of Demonic Children
Washington, D.C. — In a landmark decision, the U.S. Senate voted 51-49 on Thursday to pass a bill declaring abstinence…
Thomas F. Wilson Nominated by Republican Party to Replace Donald J. Trump
In response to the nomination, Republican Presidential Candidate Tom Wilson told the press on Tuesday, “You know, one thing’s for…