Pope Invites World’s Migrants to Live Inside Vatican Walls
VATICAN CITY—In an unprecedented announcement delivered to a crowd of thousands gathered in St. Peter’s Square, Pope Francis extended a…
Politics
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28th Amendment to US Constitution Guarantees Rights of Hippies
WASHINGTON, D.C.—In a groundbreaking development, Congress has officially ratified the 28th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution, ensuring the unalienable rights…
Biden Transfers US Monetary System to Giant Credit Card
WASHINGTON, D.C.— In a bold move aimed at streamlining the nation’s finances, President Joe Biden announced today that the entire…
Gov. Newsom’s Aide Several Weeks Into Relaying Joke Headlines in Place of Real News
SACRAMENTO, CA— After weeks of confusion, sources close to California Governor Gavin Newsom revealed Monday that his top aide, Marcus…
Biden Pardons Self for Eating Last Powdered Donut
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a stunning yet quintessentially American display of executive authority, President Joe Biden today issued an official…
Daimyo Gavin Newsom Sends Elite Army of Samurai Actors Into Battle
“This LARP battle will completely eclipse any sort of political discourse on my watch. I want no thoughts, no logic,…