Sen. Joe Manchin Goes on Tour to Bring Pepperoni Rolls to the People
CHARLESTON, WV — In a surprising turn of events, Senator Joe Manchin has embarked on a cross-state tour, not to…
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American Politicians Find Out President Xi Jinping Focuses on What Roughly Translates to ‘Technology’
SAN FRANCISCO, CA — American politicians have reportedly learned that Chinese President Xi Jinping has been investing time and resources…
California Biden Too Busy Being Famous to Care About State of Economy
SAN FRANCISCO, CA — In a shocking turn of events, sources reveal that President Biden is allegedly too wrapped up…
SCOTUS Maintains New Code of Conduct More Like ‘Guidelines’ Than Actual Rules
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a groundbreaking move that legal scholars are saying lacks clarity, the Supreme Court of the United…
AOC Adds Cool New Space Background to Typewriter
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a stunning move that has left computer enthusiasts and intergalactic aficionados speechless, congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has…
Biden Cardboard Cutout Holds Things Over While President Takes Nap
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In an unprecedented display of multitasking, President Joe Biden’s cardboard cutout has stepped up to the plate,…
Mike Johnson Talks About His Early Escapades as a ‘Phone Pranker’
WASHINGTON, D.C. — New Speaker of the House, Congressman Mike Johnson, explained that when he was a kid, he was…
Whitehouse Launches Weekly Podcast ‘What Is Kamala Harris Doing’ to Help Answer Questions
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In an unprecedented move, the White House has announced the launch of a weekly podcast titled ‘What…