Outis
Local Goat Starts Own Scaping Business
This goat wants you to know that you can do anything as long as you follow your dreams.
Woman From Before Internet Wants to Talk About Something
“I just stopped by to see how you were. Left a message on the answering machine.”
Dramatic Chipmunk Makes Cameo Appearance in Area Life
It has been brought to our attention that the Dramatic Chipmunk has recently made a sudden cameo appearance in area…
Woman Rubs ‘Salt of Earth’ In Wounds as Alternative Form of Therapy
“I get so many samples of this stuff it’s unreal.” The woman said she couldn’t keep up with it, and…
STATUS REPORT: Lazy Website Doesn’t Want to Work Anymore
A reporter who was on a family vacation caught the website slacking off on a tropical island earlier this morning.
Pentagon Whistleblower Says Food Tastes Like Shit
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a shocking reveal, a former pentagon worker blew the whistle on what he described as “completely…
The Onion Ceased Operations After Someone Accidentally Added It to Soup
This morning we received word that the Onion ceased operations after it was accidentally added to soup. Sources say an…