Biden Pardons Self for Eating Last Powdered Donut
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a stunning yet quintessentially American display of executive authority, President Joe Biden today issued an official…
Outis
Read More
Violent Shitstorm Engulfs Small Town, Ravages All Hope for Clean Water
BARNS CREEK, WY — Residents of this small, once-picturesque town were left reeling this week after a violent shitstorm tore…
Daimyo Gavin Newsom Sends Elite Army of Samurai Actors Into Battle
“This LARP battle will completely eclipse any sort of political discourse on my watch. I want no thoughts, no logic,…
DOJ Officials Return Google’s Car With Interior Torn Out
“Look, we might have totaled it, and it’s not safe for anyone to drive. But, at least that’ll teach ya’.”
Zuckerberg Identifies as Libertarian After Meeting Lilliputians in Metaverse
PALO ALTO, CA — In an unexpected twist, Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg announced Tuesday that he now identifies as a…
