Employee Pulls Out TI-83 Graphing Calculator for Some Quick Calculations
DENVER, CO — In a surprising turn of events at the office today, marketing associate Randall Levitt left his coworkers…
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Nervous Man Steals Car Ahead of Grand Theft Auto 6 Reveal
NEW YORK, NY — In a prelude to the highly anticipated release of Grand Theft Auto 6, a jittery man…
AOC Adds Cool New Space Background to Typewriter
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a stunning move that has left computer enthusiasts and intergalactic aficionados speechless, congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has…
Highly Opinionated Woman Has Never Been to Countries She Knows Most Things About
LOS ANGELES, CA — In an astonishing revelation, local woman Karen Rosales, 27, confirmed Monday that she has never visited…
Time Traveler Warns Daylight Savings Disrupts Flow of Spacetime
PHILIDELPHIA, PA — In a stunning revelation, a time traveler from the distant future has emerged to warn humanity about…
Legacy Media Confuses Online Audiences Into Removing Ad Blocker With Helpful Tutorial
In a recent turn of events, the legacy media has been accused of confusing online audiences by offering a “helpful”…
Sam Bankman-Fried Disappears as Final Trick After Series of Tumultuous Business Dealings
MANHATTAN, NY — In an astonishing turn of events, Sam Bankman-Fried, the enigmatic billionaire and Democratic mega-donor, has pulled off…